I often ponder the depths of my affection for you. Love, they say, is a symphony of sentiments. Yet, such definition merely skim the surface of my inquiry. I’m more sensitive to a more biological perspective, which suggests that love is powered by two main forces: physical attraction and attachment. While the former is readily comprehensible, it is the latter that holds my thoughts captive to its complexity.
What if i forget ?
Would my love for you endure if my memories dissolved like morning mist, erasing your name, your face, your smile, and the tapestry of our shared tales ? I am fascinated by the origin of this intimate bond, these invisible threads that drew us close and bind us together. It seems to me that attachment is nothing more than a repository of cherished memories. A treasury of shared experiences and meaningful moments, woven intricately together. Each memory, a jewel in the crown of our affection, cherished, valued, and revered.
Love is built
Contrary to popular belief, love is not something that we chase, nor that is found. Love is built. In this understanding lies its fragility and its resilience. While love may fade, as long as memories remain, its light will shine through.
Each love is unique
Once, I believed in the categorization of love: familial, fraternal, platonic or romantic. But now, i know love is way simpler, beautifuly simpler. If love is some kind of attachment generated from our cherished memories. This means that our love is unique beyond the universes. Every love is unique, just as memories are. In fact, I love my brothers as brothers, because we have brotherhood related memories, I love my mother as my mother, because we shared mother-child kind of memories. Every love has its own shape, colours and sounds. No one can be found loving two souls the same way. Isn’t it wonderful to know that I’ll never love anyone the way I love you ?
Our brain is tricking us
I don’t think we fall in love in a street or in bar, cause we can’t love something we don’t know. Love, a familiar creature, cannot sprout from the soil of the unknown. Don’t you agree ? But what about all these stories we tell ? We write songs about falling in love, we make movies about falling in love. But, I would rather say we are « fooled to love ». We are nothing more than marionettes, involuntarily entranced by the illusions of our own minds. Our brains, master illusionists, tricking us. The brain know how to do this, it has been doing this for millenium. For the survival of mankind. Yeah, falling in love let us think that we fall in love by hasard. But it is not an accident. We fall in love on purpose, even if this purpose is deeply hidden within our consciousness.
Attraction is not love
Ah, I recall the magnetic pull you once held over me, years ago. I thought I was in love, but it wasn’t even born yet. From that initial spark, we embarked upon a journey, weaving the fabric of shared memories that birthed our love.
But here lies the paradox : attraction does not equate to love, nor does love hinge solely on attraction. It whispers of a truth : that not matter the depths of our love, the charms of others can momentarily captivate. Yet our love, strong and resilient, should withstand such storms.
Love is measurable
And yet, as I preach about the strength of our love, I’m left wondering: how do you measure the strength of something so intangible ? How do you define the quality of love? What is its value? I believe that the quality and strength of love can be measured through the quality and type of memories we share. The more we share great memories, the more we appreciate them and the more we love. And that’s funny but, I realise that people don’t actually love someone, they love the memory they have of them. It’s in the memories that we find the treasures of our affection.
Love need maintenance
Now enlightened, I understand that love is a work of art built over time. It needs care and attention to avoid being damaged over the years. If we do not care for the memories that are dear to us, our love, like flowers that fade, will wither. Too often, love is seen as a force beyond control, leading people to passivity, watching its flames flicker and slowly die out.
Love is a nuanced spectrum
This conceptualization of love as a complex factory of memories allows us to appreciate the myriad hues between friendship and romantic relashionship. Embracing this nuanced understanding of love, allow us to accept and understand different kind of relationship between living beings. No longer confined to a binary paradigm. Can you see it now ? this nuanced spectrum of love that binds souls together.
Forget what i said
Yet, this vision of love is but a canvas upon which one should paint its own truths. One should not forget that the way people feel and behave in love is influenced by their conception of it. And although we have tried to solve the mystery of the origin of love, the question of its end remains: how does love die?